I havent been around much lately, as some of the people i know IRL have mentioned. nor have i posted anything. but i have good reasons! a while ago i got grounded for grades stupid lazy me decided it was okay if she slacked off during the third quarter. honestly, i dont care about the grade i end up with in a class, i care more that i learned SOMETHING even if its not related to the class at ALL. so, my silly mother grounded me. then i decided it would be okay if i skipped school. big mistake. got caught. had detention. had my INTERNET, CELL PHONE, AND SOUL taken away by my mother who i sometimes wonder if she is the spawn of satan. but then she does something silly and funny and i love her again. damn her! damn her to heck! so even though ive had more free time because im not allowed to go out with my friends, i havent been drawing or doing much of anything but sleeping and reading. i feel sooo much smarter when im reading. it makes me happy, so ive been reading so FRIGGIN much. i dont seem to be making many if any good decisions lately...its very frustrating because i dont realize the bad decisions im making until its too late. then i freak out. and sometimes, when i get in trouble, i cry. dont get me wrong, i love a good cry, it feels damn good, but i hate crying for the reasons and lack of reasons ive been crying over lately. poor sad little depressed me. i'll keep my chin up like ive been doing, smoke more...i think i'll be okay. in fact i know i will be so that is my very long explanation for why i havent been here lately and have 507 messages here. that makes me sad.